How the American Packrafting Assoc. Crushed My Stoke for Packrafting

I've received a couple emails over summer asking if I'm ok and I would just like to address my lack of packrafting content this summer. This has been a heavy topic for me and I didn't feel the need to post about it when it happened, but it has deeply affected my mental health and relationship with the packrafting community.

This past spring, I was contacted by the American Packrafting Association (APA) and asked if I’d be willing to “collaborate” with them on a large, community-driven project I created—the International Packrafting Services Database. Over the winter, I spent 50+ hours of my own time curating a detailed, inclusive map of packrafting services around the world, which many of you have seen and used. It’s accessed daily by paddlers across the globe.

The APA, along with private boater Deane Parker, said they wanted to promote the database through the APA. They spoke warmly about how detailed and invaluable the resource was, but after several emails discussing what that collaboration would mean for me and my blog, it became clear they wanted full control of the database, with little to no compensation, and to take over managing it entirely. When I expressed my desire to keep my passion project, they outright threatened to replicate it themselves.

Let me make it clear, despite using the words “work together” and “collaborate”, the ONLY option they offered to me was to FULLY DONATE THE MAP TO THE APA OR THEY WOULD REPLICATE IT.

This blatant attempt to threaten a small creator out of hours and literally YEARS of work because they realized it could be income for the APA and Deane was disturbing to me. It goes against the very nature of community beta-sharing and begs the question why should I keep paying $50 a month of my own money to share my resources, blog posts, or really anything with the community? Being threatened to have my work stolen/replicated when I wouldn't HAND IT OVER?

As a member of their Community Committee, I had spent hours on multiple projects, only to watch them be scrapped the next month. I never saw a single thing accomplished during my time volunteering. And just weeks before asking me to give away my database, the APA had asked if I’d consider serving as their Colorado Ambassador—another role requiring hours of work with little to no support. It was made clear that as Ambassador, I could not officially “represent” the APA, yet I would still be expected to pay my own way to table at whitewater events on their behalf. So when the “collaboration” email quickly shifted to “we want full control,” I was stunned. I even copyrighted my blog for the first time in five years after they repeatedly threatened to replicate it.

Since then - I have not participated in a single paddling trip, I have been silent on all packrafting social media, and I realized I am generally distrustful of the packrafting community at large now. To put it blankly - I feel stupid. I feel really stupid, because I felt like my stoke and the information I was bringing to the community was rad, and helpful, and appreciated. Now I know I am useful enough to take my beta and hard work, but not enough to give credit. Most of the packrafters in Colorado or Utah are huge supporters of the APA, and its taken me all summer to realize my betrayal related to this has made me completely averse to packrafting as a whole. I understand thats partially my own sensitivity, but damn it feels SHITTY to put this kinda info out there and feel like I am not respected, taken seriously, or worth collaborating with. Some of my trip reports are the ONLY TRIP REPORT on those sections written by a packrafter, and they are accessed daily. Will I wake up one morning and the APA will have copied and pasted my work onto their site with a few word changes???

So… I'm trying to figure out how to get my stoke back, and continue giving freely and openly to the community. Its hard to not feel used in general watching the APA and Deane offer paddling opportunities to other packrafters in the community, but not myself. Asking me personally to go above and beyond when they will not even acknowledge my hard work. Its confusing to be asked to be the APA Colorado Rep (hours of free time and years of information I had to find myself) and donate my passion project for basically nothing on my end. But I can promise that I will try as hard as I can to get back to the place I was at sharing stoke and trying to build the community.

EDIT: Just wanted to say thank you all for the overwhelming support. It’s been disturbing to receive multiple private messages from other packrafters who quit volunteering for the APA because of similar exploitative situations.